It has been about 25 years since I held my very first precious baby. I had just flown across the county, when this adorable baby boy was placed in my arms. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can smell him and remember how it felt to caress his head. I can see his baby blue eyes. Two hours later we were strolling the mall with him, and stopped at a bench to sit. An older woman came over to oooh and ahhhhh at our baby, asking all the expected questions. Then she asked a question I couldn't answer. I said "I don't know, we have only had him a couple hours." She was so surprised, until I told her we had just come from the adoption office. Her face was amazed, she looked like I felt. Amazed, stunned, awed, that this little one I had only just met, was now my son. What a miracle! I felt so very blessed, so lucky, so happy!
Many years later, my baby daughter was placed on my chest, all messy and wonderful. Her thick dark hair covering her tiny head. What was this feeling? All encompassing wonderment! Here I was, a mother again. I was a birth mother. Did it feel different? No, the same awe, the same stunned amazement was in my heart and mind. I looked her over and was totally overwhelmed with thankfulness and joy!
And then my youngest son flew into this world in less than an hour. I was shaking so much I feared I might drop him. But I held him, and felt such a rush of joy! His perfectly round messy head, so soft and downy. I barely slept that first night, laying in our hospital room, listening to him breathing. Gazing at him a million times. I felt so blessed, so much gratitude!
I have been given three gifts of untold beauty. How did I ever deserve these treasures? I have lived my mother life, being the best I can be to my children. I have learned so very much and grown so much from being their mother. They have taught me many lessons. They are still teaching me even now they are mostly grown up.
But I know that no matter how old they are, they will always be my children. Even as I strive to grow with them, and adjust my mothering with their new needs, they will still be my children. I know they don't belong to me, they belong to themselves.
I am so thankful for being a mother. I am so blessed to have met these wonderful souls.
Many hugs of love to my wonderful children.
Hugs to you all,
Happy Mother's Day
Roads less travelled
50 minutes ago